the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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