Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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