im having a threesome with these popsicles
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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