i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
