We should be called the Road Head Warriors
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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