Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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