I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize