it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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