Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
