woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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