I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize