My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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