did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Randomize
