just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
