I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
