So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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