I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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