I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
