You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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