I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
