I bet he comes in French.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
