Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
