omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
