You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize