so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
