He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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