I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
