How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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