wat bout pragnant strippers??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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