Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
