You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
