What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
