Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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