the condom got lost in my hair
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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