it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize