Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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