She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
