come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
