If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
