evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
