Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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