Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
