absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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