nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
