I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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