Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
