did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have aggressive nipples.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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