should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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