how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
