Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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