I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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