no. you can't hotbox the world.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
