the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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