come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
