belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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