I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
