Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
